I’m eritrean, i’m 28 years old and i’m the elder one of a 10 children family.

Since i left school, i’ve been soldier. In my country, men and women have to go to the national service. At first we are told that’s for 18 month, training included, bt in truth, that’s an indefinite conscription. There’s no choice, either it’s jail.

I’ve been soldier 10 years. Paid about 400 nakfa (about 10 pounds according to testimony) we’re allowed to one break of 20 days. The way to go back home was about 5 days, so 10 for go and return. So often, I went back late, i overstayed to make the most of that family time, helping my mother at home. Because my sisters and brothers are young, and no one is outside the country, like in Europe or in USA in order to help her. Life is very hard for her, and my soldier salary doesn’t help. So soldiers were sent to home each time I overstayed, locked me up in cell. They considered me a bit like a deserter. At all, in 10 years, I’ve been locked up dozen of times, i can’t remember well. Sometimes it could last till 6 or 8 month.

Prison in Eritrea is not what you know here in Europe ! Prison is forced work, without shoes, by 40 to 50 degrees. That’s really warm and there’s no watter. We just get shower once week !!! The shelters are made in iron so that’s impossible to live or sleep in, because of the heat.

When i decided to flee- that’sn’t been easy, i’ve thought about it long time- that was fleing or dying. If i was cought, if my staff’s governement understood i wanted to escape, they would jail and torture me in order to give the others deserters or i would be considered as a treater in conivence with the ennemis.

I knew that would be hard and not safe because nobody could help me, pay the journey for me, i’m the only one of my family to flee.

At that time, i was in “Sawa”, a big place famous to be a training camp. It’s near Sudan borders. I took time to collect the information, listing to the people, observing.

I escaped in february 2005 with a friend, who decided then to go to South Africa thanks to his family’s money sent from outside.

Crossing the borders lasted 3 days and 3 nights, by foot, without watter or food.

We reached Wedi Sheriffe, a small refugee camp just after the border. We’ve been sent to other camp, Taa Shrin, handle by UNHCR, where I should be given a refugee card and wait to be send somewhere in safe place in the world. But i didn’t know that there. And the process takes so long time that many people leave the place before and manage themselves. So I listened to the people and i left also.

I reached Khartoum and i stayed there 2 month. There’re 2 or 3 places for eritreans, like café or clubs. We don’t mix with natives population that much. Mostly when we’re not muslim like me. Everybody rent a room and we live there, sharing everythings. I didn’t have money so that’s my friends who permit me to survive. There’s always someone to share a meal, a cigarett or to give you few coins.

When i left my country, i didn’t know where i was going, that was probably Europe, but as i didn’t have money, i didn’t target any aim, i would have seen on the road.

In Khartoum, i used my time to listen to people, to observe, to know everybody, mostly the important people. I collected the informations about the differents options : Kenya, South Africa, Israel, Europe. And about the conditions : price, safety, smugglers, desert, Libya, sea.

I decided to Europe by Libya, because my friends were going through this way and they were going to help me.

Usually, it’s 250$ for the part Sudanees handle, then 300$ for the first step handled by libyan, then 400$ until Tripoli. I didn’t pay to the Sudanees, we were a group of ten, we negociated, that was a bargain. To the libyans, my friends helped me.

We left with Land Cruiser, 30 or 40 people in each, 3 or 4 trucks at all. We were lucky, no one die, but that happened often, we’re all talking about it at each step to tell to hte family that one son or daughter didn’t survive.

From Khartoum to Idabia, in Libya, the journey lasted 10 days, then usualy just one day to Benghazi. But at Idabia, the police arrest us. They lockep us up 2 days, and sent us back on our steps, to Kufra, to jail us again.

We stayed in jail for 3 weeks in Kufra. There were no bed, no blanket ; it was so warm on day and frizy at night. And infested by bugs : fleas, lice, crabs. They were running all over the walls, the ground and on us !! When i sticked my hand in my trouser, i got out 20 of them, each time !! That was unbelievable.

Then Libyans put us in touch with Sudanees, who told us that if we could get 150$, they’d take responsibility of us. Of course everyone said they could ! So we’ve been given by the Libyans to the Sudanees for 10 dinars each.

The Sudanees kept us locked in a house, they feed us with tomatoes and bread, and give us a phone to contact our family in Europe or in USA, in order to send us money. And when they get the money they let you free, sometimes they assist you to reach Tripoli.

But me i didn’t have anyone to call for help. So they kept me one month and then they were tired to feed me for free, so released me ! In that prison i met people that I helped later on in the jungle of france. Crazy world !

So I’ve been released but I was blocked in Kufra, because to be free you have to pay 150$ bt after you need 300$ to reach Tripoli. My friends couldn’t wait for me. I was totally destitute. But that make me learn who are the libyans, how to get them. So i used this time to observe and learn the business, how it works, which libyans were importants.

So I made the “connector”. I mean I gathered the eritreans migrants and prepare a trip. I was a link between the libyans business men and the migrants, so the smugglers get just one guy to talk and agree with. For the migrants, they are just arrived, they don’t know anything and they don’t have time to loose, they just wanna go as fast as possible. So that strategy paid me the trip. The libyans let me go because i brought them a group of migrants, and I organised everything for the both side. Like that I reached Benghazi.

There, I stayed blocked 6 month because I needed 150$ again to reach Tripoli.

Th elife in Benghazi, means for me the social life with passing people. I was friend with everybody, feed by the group. And anyway, everybody live on the connector’s money. They share the food, pay for cigaretts, everythings, with those who don’t have money, who stay there, waiting for the chance.

I made the guild, showed where and how to phone, the important places, the important people. I coped.

The connector charge people 150$ and give 50 to the driver, then he handle everything for the group of migrants. You can do without connector, so you just have to pay 50$, but you have to know the people first nto to fall on entertainer.

I did so for a while, then I left as well, with saved money.

In Tripoli, life is hard in general, but there’s a place named “Gordji”, where migrants live. That’s a mixed place : natives and migrants. Eritreans live in Gordji. The life is really cheap in Libya, the bread in as big as a arm and for 40 you have to pay 1 dinar. So with 2 dinar you live a day !!

Libyans if they get bread and cigarets they’re happy, they just live. But when they see the migrants load with the food for big group, they think migrants are rich. So they intimate them sometimes for 25 cts !

At my time, the matter in Tripoli, was the connector. They talk a lot and were used to say that the danger was around, in order to scared to people, so they even don’t try to manage themselves. If they knew the truth they could try to avoid expensive connectors. Those who are really dangerous are what we call “mixed”, migrants but not eritreans, like Tunisians, Egyptians, Nigerians. They don’t have money. They’re often on drugs. The girls are prostitutes, from Morocco or Tunisia. The pure Libyans are quiet ok.

At my time, the connectors for eritreans were Sudanees. But now they are eritreans so that’s better. They ask less money : before you could be charged untill 5000$, now it’s around 1200.

When i tried the first time to cross the mediterranean see, ther were 2 friends of mine, Dawit and Yonas, in the same situation like me, who had to collect people also in order to cross, so they negociated my place on their boat, for free. But in front of the boat, the libyans smugglers told us that it was overload, one guy had to remain. We were 28 and the boat as they said could support just 27 people. My friends wanted me to stay in. But i felt unconfortable about that. That was their plan. So their turn. And I was not in emergency. I didn’t really knew where I was going through that. I decided to remain in Libya. The boat and my friends left. We never heard about them anymore. No news of this boat. It never reachs its goal. They are dead, i know that. 27 people.

That made me wonder. I was quiet well in Libya. I didn’t have money, so real and sure way. I was watching people struggling with their family to get money. And in that boat, was a far relative of mine, which was rich. But he’s dead anyway. Money or not. I was scared.

But in Libya, i wasn’t doing anything, just killing my time, that’s all. That was ok at the begining, that changed me of the army ! But at last, you don’t build anything. And everybody push you, ask you what you’re doing here, why you do go further in order to help your family.

So i decided to take a chance. I knew eveythings. I would go just if the way is sure and safe, not for nothing, not for dying.

So i collected the people, i prepared a trip, with the good libyans, with the good boat, the good way.

35 hours to cross the sea. We reached Lampedusa in august 2007. we’ve been quickly carried out to another camp, Crotone. I stayed there 4 month and I received a one year protection, “sejorno”. For me the camp was not good, not bad. After 2 month we were allowed to go out, to the laundry or internet coffee. I got the italian racists, they do skin discriminations. And when you make trouble in the camp, they make stange injections which make you feel bad for several days. That happened to 2 friends that I met again in France, then here.

When i got my papers, I’ve been asked where i wanted to go, i decided to Rome, because everybody was going there. We’ve been droped to the train station and offered the ticket.

In Rome, I followed the current because we were alone there, without explaination. I thought finding accomodation, i found a squat, Analina. I collected all the informations, obtained all i needed : ID card, Code Ficicale, kind of insurance number in order to be employed, even traveler document.

While that, i was living in Analina, which is a disused building, belong to no one, where refugees are living. I didn’t pay to live in because i didn’t have my own room, i was new, i was sleeping in the corridor. If you don’t know somone inside, you have to live outside, to the train station. There are no electricity, no toilets cause there are blocked, everybody go outside, no watter, no shower for weeks.that’s overcrowded, men, women, children, pregnant women. When your clothe are dirty, you go to charities if they can give you others.

I wish you saw Analina, your mind would collapse !!!

There is a second squat in Rome, Colentina, that one is organised, people are living for a while, working, living with family, so when thet decide to leave, they sell their place expensive price.

I stayed 2 month in Rome. I never found a job. I left for Milano, by some friends who could lodge me, they were living there for a while and working.

I stayed 6 or 7 month like that. Runing everywhere to find a job, because we don’t pay for the train, the controler just let us go. If they charge you, you have to give the bill to a charity. Maybe the vatican pays for that, i don’t know. Anyway, i tried, but never found anything, no job.

I have to help my family. When i was soldier i couldn’t do, and i disturb them a lot being in troubles with the army, runing away, drinking, killing the time. Since i left, until I reached Italy, i couldn’t help them, so now i was at my goal, i had to work for them. But nothing worked out.

So I hit the road again, after listening to the people. I told to myself that if England accepts me, well, but if i would rejected, i would escape to work by black. That’s why i choose England, and the language is easier to learn. Also a girl which pleased me a bit was going there again, after being deported all ready, so I followed her.

I reached Padris in May 2008, then Lille Flandres, then Calais. As soon as i arrived there, i met somone who showed me the African Home, a squat, like big hall, where migrants live, sleeping on the ground, hidding from the police who gaz us with pepper gaz. Everybody say they do it because we’re illegals, black or muslims. I don’t know, for me that was as if i got back to the survival practice of the journey in Africa.

There, I’ve been aware about eveything : food, shower, internet acces, people, police, and the way to cross : the “protocole”, the highway station where you have to pay to be load on the back of a lorrie.

I tried 3 days with protocole, which means for free. You slip yourself under a truck, as you can. But that didn’t work, and it was very dangerous, i could be injured like many others.

In the African House, i herad about the business on the highway station. I collected information about the job. Open and close doors, it didn’t seem very complicated ! And i needed to work, i needed money, and i was also going to England like many of those who work like that in jungle, pushing people, before going themselves, so saving money for their family like that. Mostly for those, like me, who have been fingerprinted before in other country, who couldn’t start a new life there, couldn’t be stabble in Uk, each time deported, several time a year, so better to use our time, better than nothing, and we don’t have the choice.

So I talk with those who were working in jungle at that time, and we agreed, I had to wait that they save enough money, and then I could take their place.

I worked 2 month in the jungle. I was stressed at night on the car park, we always fear the police. But we ra all together, amid sisters and brothers, we share everything during the day. We are among our community, and the french people are really kind. There’s just the mafia, which is strong and dangerous, there’re always trafficking people who want to take back the business to make more money. But we, we organise ourselves, we help each other, those who don’t have money, cross anyway.

I crossed myself at the fall, because at the end of the year my italian papers would expire. If England doens’t accept me and send me back, i would renew it.

As soon as we reached england, we’ve been found in the truck. So the same day we’ve been questioned by police and immigration services. Fingerprint have been checked, they didn’t tell me anything. I’ve been lodge first in a hostel the send in other city, lodged in sharing room.

I sign every week to the police station. I’ve not been told about anything, i’m still waiting for an interview, the big interview, which give you paper if you success. At that time they stop to deport people to Italy, but they also don’t give paper. You just have to wait at home. You’re not allowed to work. (nowadays pause in deportation in Italy for third country underDublin regulation can be observed. Request seem to have been sent to the High Court to complain against the treatment of refugees in Italy, under the article 3 of the Geneva convention)

Here at least, i’m safe. Not like in Italy, where, at night, you could be attack because you’re black, or because of the druggist or homeless. I was not running after England when i left home, even when i reached Europe. But i n Italy, i was scared by everything i saw in the street, and i was almost living on this street ! Here i get my own home. I’m still scared or shy towards others, english or foreigners. I don’t really understand when people talk to me. But i can visit friends, moving around, and at 8pm i go back home and i’m safe.

In France, i’ve met my girlfriend, she was going to England, she’s not fingerprinted before, she adviced me, i followed her. I gave up the plan we got with a friend, in the same situation as me, with the same questions, the same aim to live peacefully wherever, i decided to stay in France with. But finally, i followed my girlfriend and i hope we would live together.

Here everything is really expensive. You can’t do anything, just staying at home or visiting some friends. I sent the money i earned smuggling people to my family in eritrea. That’s a lot of money for them. I hope to free from this obligation for 2 years ! That’s a big help for them, the situation become really hard there, prices are growing up, big inflation, most of primary stuffs become rare, and my mother can’t work, my brothers and sisters are still young and the older are in national service, so they can’t help her. And over there, a strong solidarity lead the social network, i know that money’s gonna help a lot of people.

I’m still in touch with many people i smuggled. We get well, if we have reason to get well without talking about the way i worked for them. We visit each other. People want to cross. If you do a good job, so if they reach their aim, they have no reason to look back at you in anger, if you don’t make them any trouble, if you treat them well. Amid smugglers, you can find everything : the good and the bad. But at all, it’s just a survival way, that we find across the trip, to be able to go on our way, an opportunity because we don’t have the choice.